Moment of Inevitability
From Encyclopedia of Sex and Sexuality
Just before a male ejaculates, there are premonitory sensations marking a point of no return—when ejaculation becomes inevitable. Some therapists call this the “moment of inevitability.” Once that threshold has passed, it is too late to delay ejaculation; it then occurs beyond the man’s control. Many men are bothered by what appears to be a loss of control over when their orgasm and ejaculation occur. Recognition of the sensations preceding ejaculation is a critical part of sex therapy for men who suffer from premature ejaculation. It is necessary that a man learn to recognize the sensations that occur before the moment of inevitability in order to learn how to control the timing of his ejaculation.
Of course, there is a moment of inevitability for women as well, though it occurs much closer to the moment of orgasm than is true for men. However, since early female orgasm is not a common complaint—indeed, it is almost never defined as a complaint—there are few references to it in popular or medical literature.
A common technique recommended by sex therapists is for the male to slowly masturbate a few times while concentrating on the sensations immediately preceding ejaculation, so as to recognize the premonitory sensations that tell him an orgasm is beginning but ejaculation is not yet inevitable. At this moment, he should stop and move his hand away from his penis. He will probably lose part or all of his firm erection. He can then stimulate himself again and stop. On the third time he can bring himself to ejaculation. By this time he will have been able to stop twice and will have learned what he has to do in order not to ejaculate. After several practice sessions, he may ask a partner to help him reach the moment of inevitability by instructing the partner to stop stimulation. When he learns to recognize it in time and have stimulation cease immediately, ejaculation will often not occur.
Some therapists say it is understandable that many men seem unaware of this momentary point between the beginning of the orgasmic sensation and its heightening during ejaculation. They argue that for most men, orgasm is the goal of sexual activity and thus, they are unaware of the continuum of sensations they experience and their physical meaning. Since most men have not been educated about the different sensations, they are unaware that there is time to control the process. As a consequence, premature ejaculation is one of the most frequently reported sexual dysfunctions among males.